BarnRaising Day

For Cap'm ButterCup's BarnRaising Day, we cutdown a tree in his front yard.



Detailed story to follow...

My Fabulous Christmas

I blinked.

And I must have done it more than once cuz, December is almost GONE. Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink!

I must give myself a break though. Birthday season galore here in Sulaland and i'm beat! Birthdays start the first week of December here and there's one just about every four days until Christmas. Including my two wonderful daughters that are a week apart the week before Christmas. But the chaos? It ends on Christmas Day.

I was behind as I normally am. I still have to get the box ready to send to Green Bay and to Albuquerque. At least this year, I actually have the stuff to put in the box this year! So life is good.

Christmas Eve got here and my house was clean, my kids were excited, I got to cook soup (which is one of the main ways that I center myself) and I was looking forward to a Peaceful Christmas Eve with Good Friends.

Absolutely the best Christmas Eve ever. I completely fulfilled my vision of what Christmas Eve is supposed to be like! I had a good mix of friends from several different areas of my life. Several friends who have been a huge part of my support system over the past few years, a friend who can get me laughing in tears with his personality and comments that just rolls out of his mouth before he can do anything about it. and makes no apologies for it. Neighbors stopped by that I adore. A new friend who I'm already holding very dear to my heart. A friend who has been there every time that i've ever needed her. The man who calms me and brings great joy in my life. My kids (and then my kids going to bed early!) and my cousin and her new hubby.

Many of us started the evening off at the Christmas Eve service at NWHills. What a beautiful service. Great music and a great message. It was a packed house and they had to have 6 serving stations for communion! We sang silent night by candlelight. That alone made my heart all warm and fuzzy!

Friends came over, we socialized, we laughed. We drank wine. C made a beautiful fire in the chimenea.

We stood in a huge circle and prayed by song to bless our dinner. We had a shepherds meal of Tortilla Soup and Tamales with LOTS of goodies. Homemade hummus was brought and some yummy yummy bread. Lots of sweets.

I read 'Twas The Night Before Christmas and then the girls went off to bed so that Santa could show up as quickly as possible.

We had a "Gift of Self" exchange in White Elephant format. and there were lots of goodies in the pot! We had a peace ornament, a home cooked meal, lottery tickets (that won!), Tea for Two, a candle, a really cool lotion kit, salt and pepper shakers, a story that included a little girl covered in chicken poop and another with Santa losing his pants in front of a bunch of scarred-for-life elementary kids! And I got a song held near and dear to a friend of mine that sang for us all.

We went outside and enjoyed the fire. We went around the circle and shared what our favorite childhood gifts were. Then we held hands and sang Silent Night.

At that point, the party needed to wind down and all scurried home to sleep well before the excitement of Christmas morning.

New friend E hung around and helped C and I wrap ALL of our gifts! We finished that right about midnight. If she hadn't stayed, we would have been wrapping till 3 a.m.! THANK YOU E!!!!!

After she left, C and I exchanged a gift a piece. The gift from each of us that we wanted to give each other in the solitude of each other. We are happy. (and that's all the details you readers are gettin'!)

Sleep eventually came and the first knock came upon my bedroom door about 7:15. Told them they had could knock again at 7:50. and they did. on the dot. I'm guessing that they stood by the clock and watched the time tick away minute by minute.

We all got great gifts!

L came by a little later and had some breakfast. Then E came by and we carpooled out to L's house for a yummy yummy Christmas dinner of grilled steaks, lots of healthy veggies, bread and lots of Christmas-ey desserts. It was a small enough crowd that we all got to sit at L's table for dinner.

C stopped by for a little while and I received this trickle of gifts all day. It started with a Christmas Eve ornament, then our personal gift exchange, then the opening of Christmas morning, then the one he brought to L's. He only stayed for a little bit and then went on to see his family. One of the best gifts that he gave me, was letting me know without a doubt that he had wanted me to be with him on Christmas. He stopped by on the way home from his dad's to tuck me in. Where I received 2 more presents.

This man GETS me. Every single one of his gifts, made me feel heard and cared for. My favorite though was 4 little rocks that he picked up on his trip to Seattle in June. He gave one to each of my girls, one to me and one to himself. I consider him part of my family. and I see now that he sees himself as part of my family.

At this point, it doesn't matter if our romantic connection lasts a lifetime or not. I know that our connection will last a lifetime. It doesn't matter if we date just each other or if we date other people. It doesn't matter if we are building a life with a place for each other as a partner or if we are collecting precious moments at this phase in our relationship. It doesn't matter what our own personal struggles are in regards to relationships. He is important to me and he is important to my children. and I feel like I am important to him and my children are important to him. This is what matters.

I've had the absolute best Christmas season ever. I got to spend it with fabulous friends, great neighbors, a new friend, two of the best pieces of my family and C. All had a part in fulfilling my Christmas vision.

I am happy. I love my friends. I love my family. I love my life.

I love you all. Merry Christmas!

First Campfire

This is my first campfire.
I started it.
I fed it.
It burns bright.
I am happy.

About two months ago, my oldest daughter had her hands held wide and was spinning in the breeze. It hit me then. She is Air.

I am Earth (that tree thing) as is most of those that I can connect spiritually with. My youngest daughter is Earth. But realizing that Bean is Air as I was watching her spin - Could I get that much goodie out of Air?

So I tried. And I did get a lot of goodie out of spinning in the breeze. At this point I realized that my life in the 4 natural Elements was not balanced. I needed more Fire, Water and Air in my life.

I've been wanting a chimenea for a long time. I now wonder if it was a need of the Fire element, rather than just wanting an outdoor fireplace.

I worked all day to create this wonderful space. I picked out the chimenea. I paid for it and transported it home. I cleaned out the courtyard (see earlier post). And I started my own first fire.


My courtyard is now MY vision. and it's a work in progress, but I have a starting point. Wow. I have a starting point!


Isn't it funny how the tiniest and seemingly insignificant thing can make you feel so empowered?


I am happy.





I had to process a lot of emotions today. Many regarding the breakup with C (sorry C, still love ya!) and how hard it is to be friends at this point that we are in that we have titled Limbo.


God sends us special people to be in our life at points when we need them.


I think with my lesson learned today is another one about balance. And this one is in the manifestation within fire.



Fire is glorious. Much like my friend C. Fire is beautiful and warm and essential to feeding yourself. However, it's hot. Sometimes hot is a good thing. But if you get to close... you get burned. and if you stay too close for too long, then you get burned bad. if the components in the fire are off balance, then the fire could be to hot, burn too fast, smoke too much, or simply burn out.


C and I - we're finding our balance right now. Staying friends after a romantic connection is hard work. But it's important. Limbo is hard. I think the appearance of Fire in my life is telling me to find the balance and enjoy the warmth, but we MUST find the balance.

My friend LD is really enjoying her S'more. Dog Bridey is wondering where hers is!

Got wine. Got friends. Got campfire. Got S'mores. All bases are covered!

Yummmmmm.... found out today that S'mores made with dark chocolate are even better!

Family and friends roasting marshmallows in our very first campfire.

Bu can make herself comfy ANYWHERE!

Happy Bean. Happy Friend.

My friend L. Isn't she beautiful? L, if I haven't told you before what a wonderful impact you have on my life, listen up! cuz i'm telling you now! You ROCK!

L and LD, thank you sooooooo very much for sharing my first campfire with me. it was a wonderful night.

And thank you Rob for virtually participating in my endeavor of cleaning out my courtyard! Having a friend close by during pivotal experiences is important to me. and even though the cleaning of the courtyard may not seem like a huge deal, it was.

It is a step towards a more balanced life within the elements that make us whole.

Life is good.

I am happy.

The Courtyard is MINE now!

I've been wanting a chimenea for about 18 months now. Those that know me well, understand that for me to spend any amount of money over $20 at a time is quite a struggle for me. I'm just cheap. and I hate to shop. and i research and research and research until I find exactly what i'm looking for. and then once I do, I think about it and think about it and think about it. And then... I might buy it if I can justify it to myself.

Well, about 6 months ago I said, "I'm going to buy a chimenea. I'm going to do it." and so the research began. About 3 weeks ago, I was ready to buy! Then I couldn't find them anywhere! I twittered my friends and got all sorts of good suggestions. Then one of them told me of the place on Burnet just south of North Loop. Miguel's Imports. Must do good yelping about Miguel's Imports.

OMG! That place is MAGIC! Any time I need retail therapy, I'm going there!

I stopped by yesterday and looked at them all, compared prices and then left empty handed promising myself that I would come back the next day and leave with one. And I did. I looked at them all again. But the big mouth orange-y sun one won out. So now I have a theme for my courtyard. Sun, trees, frogs and turtles.

Isn't it gorgeous????? I LOVE IT!

************************************************************************

My courtyard was a mess. I've started to clean it a couple of times, but just didn't have the motivation. The courtyard was my ex's domain. He smoked out there and I just didn't go out there. It wasn't my space.

So... two years later and I've finally got it cleaned up enough to call it MINE. I've started to clean it several times, but I just hadn't had a clear picture of what I wanted yet. This is sort of a find myself journey. Realizing that it's not about what anyone else likes or thinks. It's about MY perception of MY perfect space.

So I started with the deleafing. I have a tremendous amount of trees in such a small space. I love them. but they produce a wholelotta leaves. so we started there. I think i carried about 15 buckets full of leaves out of there.

Miscellaneous "stuff" everywhere. All this is now combined into a bucket and placed out of the line of site.

I am soooooooooooooo happy with my Chimenea! and my courtyard! I feel like this is MY space now. and a good space to invite friends over for a campfire.

Now i'm off to buy firewood, wine and S'more makings! Guess what we are doing tonight???