Words Matter

Words matter.
After everything else is stripped away, all you have is your word. You ARE your word.
You can lift someone up with words of encouragement and affirmation. People can be torn down by words of negativity.
Let me say it again - Words matter.
I've been thinking about this for a while now. About how I want to be a light for people. People who are near and dear to me. My kids. My family. My friends. My friends I haven't met yet. Strangers. and even those who are not aligned with my values.
I want to be a safe place for open respectful discussion. In the political world, we probably won't change each others mind. But with respectful discussion, we might understand each other better and gain more compassion than we had before.
Facebook has given me this "out". I get to be social and hide at the same time. Recovering from years of emotional abuse from my father and my second ex-husband was and is a long process. A process that has me facing anxiety when I don't expect it. Social anxiety. and often not knowing or maintaining my own boundaries. I've done an incredible amount of work these past 10 years. I feel safe in my own skin. Safe enough to hold a safe space for others.
I'm going to move away from Facebook as my main source of interaction. I am not giving it up or stepping away. I will utilize it more as a way to show gratitude, event planning, and sharing of my life. But I am no longer going to be scared to pick up the phone and call you instead of messaging. I will encourage live friendships. Spontaneous get togethers.
Let me say it again. Words matter.
I'm supposed to write. So my intention is to show gratitude for those in my life. By showing tribute when I am touched or remember a fond memory. I want you to know that you had an impact on my life.
So do not be surprised when I call you out of the blue and say, "hi, I've been thinking about you. How are you doing?". Because I really want to know. If there's a chance I do not have your phone number, please send it to me via PM.
I am sitting in this sea of gratitude and I am going to do my best to share this gratitude and acknowledge those who have made a difference in my life. Friends, strangers, acquaintances, blasts from the past and even those from a different era.
So, Words Matter. You never know when you are going to say something that affects someone so deeply that you cause a shift in their life.
This happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I was craving deep conversation and my friend Ryan J. Schoenbeck reached out to me via FB. I had slipped back into this space of resentment for not being able to have the mental space to do all the things that feed me. I was feeling guilty for not being the positive light that I wanted to be. Giving my all to my family and dealing with my younger daughter's depression has been all consuming. And I was carrying the guilt for us all. For not having the perfect Beaver Cleaver family. Feeling guilty for not taking care of myself enough to pour from my cup into my family's. And I tried to explain why I'd been avoiding life. Not showing up on the playing field of life by saying, "I've avoided commitments of any type this last 18 months because of my younger daughter's depression."
The response? "Sounds like you've been really committed the last 18 months."
Words matter.
Ryan - there hasn't been a day that's gone by since you said that, that I haven't felt good about myself and the choices and commitments I've made. In one sentence, a shift happened that allowed me the space to breathe. I am so very grateful for you. Connection and sharing is important. Our stories, our feelings, our words. They matter. I will no longer be scared of connection. Or be afraid of the awkwardness of reaching out. People need connection. it makes us stronger and more unified, no matter what our beliefs. And I believe that by sharing, in person or by voice and written word, we can better this world.
A few years ago, my niece was dealing with a bully. So she wrote on FB almost every day about someone and the good they brought into this world. Every time I read one of her posts, I was uplifted and in awe of this young person's wisdom and thought, "what a fabulous idea! I wish I could do that". But the truth was I wished I would do that. I was scared. Scared of connection. I'm not scared anymore.
So I am offering a safe space for discussion and sharing and caring. Let's be kind to each other. Thank you for being a part of my life. I love you all.
Words matter.