Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Hear that? That's me sighing at all my friends and family shaking their fingers at me saying, "I told you so!!!!!"
I finally did it. I talked to my attorney about filing a motion for enforcement on IdiotNuts for the back spousal support.
I know. I just said I talked to him about it. But if IdiotNuts doesn't shape up then I'm prepared to do it.
I'm accepting half payments for spousal support for a longer period of time. I'm still getting the short end of the stick on that, BUT what was most important was not having the fight about money anymore. I told him when I took the new arrangement that if we had the fight again, or if he thought paying me was optional, then I would take legal action.
He's only missed one payment. One half payment that is. But we had to have the fight again. So shouldn't I give him 30 days? Yeah, I'm a wimp. but he's the girls' dad!
On Friday if he doesn't show up with what he's supposed to pay me plus some to make up the difference of the payment he just made, then I will probably go ahead and have the attorney serve him the papers. Luckily, the retainer isn't going to cost me THAT much. And we'll request that he pays the attorney fees. AttorneyGuy sounds hopeful on that part, but I know better. If I sue, i'll have to be prepared to pay AttorneyGuy.
Sigh.... I don't want to. Sigh...... But I have to.
Let's see. IdiotNuts owes me $4500 in child support arrears because he didn't pay anything from August to the end of November. I've already filed the updated paperwork this week to have that taken care of. They'll probably split it out like they did with his first wife so he pays a little more per month for the rest of the timeframe that he's supposed to pay. At least I finally sighed heavy enough to sign on the bottom line for that.
But I don't want to sue the nincompoop. I want him to do what he's supposed to! You know. Spend time with the girls! Take them for a WHOLE weekend. Help with the transportation. (okok.... that one's not required, but it sure would be nice!).
So on Friday, I'll find out if i'm going to have a long next two months. If I have to sue him, the lawyer said I should go ahead and request for an increase in child support because he's not spending enough time with them AND have medical support paid directly to me out of his check. He seems to have forgotten to pay THAT last month too.
Sigh............................
He was doing so well! Why'd he have to screw it up! Dammit!
So everyone cross your fingers and say a little prayer for us that he shows up on Friday so I don't have to follow through. I have to follow through if he doesn't though. He's behind $2400 in alimony. All he has to do is what he said he would and at the end of the time period we agreed upon, he get's forgiven of the remaining debt. How hard is that????
Just friggin do what you're supposed to do!
$4500 + $2400. $6900.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
How much does it have to climb to before I admit to myself that if he's not going to pay anything towards the arrears when he was living for FREE, that he's probably not going to be motivated to catch up now that he's moving and will have to pay rent.
Oh. And I think he's working for some recording company. Wonder what that's all about. He's still contracting at the state too.
Ok. ramble done. All you finger-waggers who've been wagging their fingers at me can all join in unison in a huge, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!"
Go ahead. get it all out.
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5 comments:
Yes, well, aside from I told you so, it's always better to be able to have the state handle it from the get go. Even if he does pay up, you still need to file in my opinion. He's screwed up too many times. It sounds like he had issues in the past with other kids/wives, so ya know... it "shouldn't" be a surprise, but it sucks because I'm sure you were counting on him to follow through. The bottom line is that he obviously isn't going to do what has to be done. It sucks. But it is. Getting pissed doesn't do anything. Take action, take it OUT of YOUR hands. They are his kids and his responsibility. And if he's not taking them when he's supposed to, well, that's him missing out cuz your girls are the sweetest things and he can kick himself in the arse for it later. Hang in there and just do it, hon... even if he does come through this week, it doesn't fix problems that ARE going to come up down the line.
Sula, been there done that, have the shirt. Nothing will ever change until you do the do. Make the courts hold him accountable. I filed on mine for 750 in arrears becuase I was tired of the fighting month after month. Guess what the court did....Found him in contempt for not paying me and sent him to jail for 30 days. I was shocked. But guess who was more shocked. Idiotnuts is getting off scot free. Do it. He won't fight anymore becuase he doesn't want to go to jail.
Nicole
I would file on his arse! He obviously is not going to pay up and you cannot keep holding out that he will change and "do the right thing." He is a loser and you need to let the attorney handle it. So what if he goes to jail. Who cares what the girls would think? They need to see you stand up for yourself and protect them. They need to see you take matters into your own hands and make it happen. They need to see you be strong, confident, and loving so that they don't become doormats to losers like your ex. Good luck and let me know if you need anything.
Ya know, MaMa C has a VERY good point there. Yes, it may be "sticking it to" their Dad, but I will say that kids also recognize (not always right away) when their parents are being a doormat. I know you probably don't feel like one, but you are letting him tell you what money you get month after month. He has an agreement with you and that agreement has been breached - apparently, repeatedly.
Stop arguing with him about it. Send it to the courts and so be it. It's his responsibility to pay you. He obviously is unable to live up to that responsibility so let the courts deal with it. You really don't have to deal with the emails/calls.
The seeing the kids thing... well, he obviously sucks, doesn't he? It isn't actually optional for him to see the girls, is it? I mean, dude, do you need a court order that states "You, IdiotNuts, Must Love Your Children"... geez.
I feel bad for the girls, but not really. They need a better male influence than idiotnuts. And it sounds like they might have one, so screw him. But he helped create those beautiful girls, it's his responsibility to help raise them. Might be projecting, but men who don't care about the consequences of where they put his...piss me off.
He needs to grow up and be a man instead of being a dick.
I am so glad your girls were blessed with you as a mom. Stick to your guns and show your babies how to be strong and amazing women.
Follow through. The money is not for you...It's for your girls and they deserve it. If you don't you're letting him steal from them. Their food, their clothes, their home.
Many hugs.
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